


When the World Ends; That Is When We Begin

by truelyesoteric



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Future Fic, M/M, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2017-11-22 18:18:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truelyesoteric/pseuds/truelyesoteric
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Civilization as they knew it ended. That is all it took for them to admit what they really wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When the World Ends; That Is Where We Begin

The poignant moment is the time when you get what you want and start your happily ever after.

Sometimes the after is easier than the happily or ever.

&&

Once upon a time...

Want a beginning? A scientist finds a way that people can live longer. A scientific elixir that mirrors the fountain of youth. Except for he doesn’t realize that the jolt of life turns into death after two days. It’s a hungry death that needs to feed. It is an angry death that indiscriminately eats live cells.

It’s a death that starts to eat away at cities and then spreads out.

In the simplest of terms: guy tries to cheat death and almost extinguishes life.

For brevity people call the things zombies.

Nobody is left to explain by the time things get bad, so they just use a name that everyone can understand.

The survivors call it the zombie apocalypse.

&&

The funny thing about the ‘zombie’ rising is the things that break immediately and the things that take longer to fall apart. In the short term everything was still in motion, but soon enough the electricity stopped working, the trash piled up, and cell phones stopped connecting calls.

However after it started, but before everything was destroyed, back in the beginning, Jensen called Jared.

It was five years after Supernatural, and they had seen each other off and on, their bond still existing through space and life changes had taken them away from the way they lived while filming their show, but they were still as close as they could be. 

When the world ended the first person he called was Jared.

"You okay," Jensen said quickly when Jared picked up, feeling like the cell phone thing was cheating, as if he needed to speed up the conversation in case towers were going to stop reception at any given second.

"Yeah man," Jared said sounding more than tired. "Chad and I were on a road trip from LA to San Antone when our elderly motel women in Bumfuck, Oklahoma decided to eat Chad."

"Sounds like something he would enjoy," Jensen quipped. Quipping was still there in the early days.

"Yeah, no," Jared said seriously.

There was silence.

"Sadie...she...we had to. I’d never shot a person before, I couldn’t…not until after she got Sadie," Jared stuttered. Jared didn't stutter, he could always find the words.

"I know man," Jensen replied easily, soothing. "I'll miss her too."

Those were the days you still thought that you could miss those who were gone and still go on. Later you learned that you couldn't miss who wasn't there and not drown in it.

"I don't know what is going on," Jared replied.

"You'll figure it out along the way," Jensen advised. "Take Chad and Harley and keep moving."

"Always, you in Dallas?"

"Not much longer. It is bad."

That was all there was to say.

"Mac and I are going to go to Temple, there is word that there is something there," Jensen said, there wasn't going to be questions about those he didn't name. Parents, wives, friends, children, the gone were gone.

"I know that you're going to turn around to go back and check on your family," Jensen said hurriedly again, needing to get the words out.

"What can I say I'm a zombie movie cliché," Jared acknowledged.

"I knew you would," Jensen said. "When you are done looking lets meet up."

"Always the optimist Ackles," Jared said with something like a sob and something like relief.

"Temple," Jensen said. "We'll meet in between. Halfway."

"Promise," Jared said in a small voice.

"I will be waiting in Temple," Jensen said, focusing on being strong. "Don't get dead, I'm waiting."

"See you then."

That was the last words for a year. That was both of their mission statements.

"Don't get dead, I'm waiting."

By the one-year mark, they figured each other to be dead. A great many people in the world were. More were dead than alive, although there wasn't anyone who took the time to make a census.

The words still echoed because that was a reason when there wasn't a reason. A promise of heaven when they were going through hell.

What happened was a movie montage of survival. It was gritty and they learned to leave their humanity at the door in order to survive. They did what they had to in order to keep going, the zombies at their door, on their tail.

When the movie ended, when they found their goal, the climax of the tale, well, that is when life begins.

When the road traveled is done and the goal is achieved and the credits flash that is the 'The End' of the tale. That is when the story begins.

&&

Temple, TX was standing because the people in Texas just don't seem to know how to die. Also they were pretty damned handy at using guns and living off of their own self-preservation.

Cities were dead; it was the small clusters of humans that now could be said to be 'urban centers'. Fifty to a hundred people fighting off the hordes of zombies.

Temple had 105 today. Each day was different. They had enough food, enough forces, enough will.

They just had enough.

They also had bluebells in July.

It was May.

Long ago Jensen and Jared had given up on the other and had just gone on surviving. That was what life was going to be. Survival without reason.

&&

"Jensen, Jensen, Jensen. Franny wanted you," Molly yelled, coming towards him, hugging his leg. That was her place, behind his left leg, by his side. That was where she was safe. 

For a six year old she had a remarkable sense of self-preservation. 

Most of the people left did.

Jensen patted her on the head and finished loading his gun. Most people never were further than arm lengths from their guns. Everybody knew where their guns were at all times, even in the safety of the walls. They still saw zombies, there were still attacks.

And for some reason they were still looking to be alive.

After a minute he looked down to where she was waiting as patiently as she could.

"Come on, lets go see what the fearless leader has to say," Jensen said slinging his gun to his back holster and putting her on his hip. It was a pretty normal sight. Each adult had a ward, there weren’t many parents, and there were so few kids. It was easier to have one person watching each kid.

Dominic Francisco was the leader of the whole crew; he was probably the most Texan Texan left in the world. In the before he had run a soup kitchen, and mostly lived out of his car. Now he ran one of the outposts of civilization. He had taken one look at Jensen nine months ago and sniffed at the pretty boy actor.

Six months ago, as Jensen had proven a more than excellent shot and a pretty good coordinator, Franny had taken back his dismissal and taken Jensen in as his right hand.

Jensen walked with Molly right at his heels.

"Perimeter holding?" Jensen asked, it was their usual greeting.

Franny didn't look up from where he was looking at one of the jeep engines. He just pointed in some general direction.

"Crew just arrived," Franny said.

Jensen looked surprised. He hadn't met a new convoy in months. It was usually left to someone with more people skills; Jensen hadn't had many of those before. Now he had none, there was no time.

Franny grabbed a wrench and peered deeper. "One of them is asking 'bout you."

Jensen looked a little more surprised. He had stopped expecting anyone long time ago, but he wasn't too shocked, people sometimes heard about THE Jensen Ackles, from before. Eric Brady, Alec Forrester, Jason Teague, Dean Winchester was who they were looking for. They were people also long gone. 

Then Franny looked up. "Didn't say anything. Don't think that he is one of 'em tho."

Franny was being careful; they didn't hand out hope these days. Hope killed.

But Franny was saying what he didn't want to say.

Jensen had told Franny in the beginning who he was expecting. They never discussed it further, but Franny didn't forget.

"Tall guy," Franny added off handedly.

Jensen swallowed. "Watch Molly."

And Jensen took off faster than he could think, because hope had died a long time ago.

He wanted to forget that he wasn't a man who could hope.

He stopped just short of the new group in the middle of the quad.

Tall guy stood above the crowd. He was dirty, skinny as hell, lots of muscle under tanned dirty skin. There weren't any scars, zombies don't leave scars, and they leave you dead.

Jensen stood at the edge, watching.

Next to him was a blonde head. It was a familiar sight, minus one arm.

Jensen didn't breathe, because many times he had thought he had seen this, he was a long time beyond wanting anything.

Then the head cracked up under Jensen's stare. There wasn't a flicker of recognition in those dead eyes. There was just reciprocal staring, there was just the knowing that had always existed.

The blonde one arm man pushed the tall guy through the throng, and Jensen wasn't going to name them quite yet, not until he was sure.

The tall man walked across the open plane to where Jensen stood alone. This was the kind of thing that was about trust. The tall guy spread his arms out and stepped surely forward. Jensen held his little hill, watching.

The man stopped a foot away. When the voice came out it was slow and horse.

"I didn't get dead."

Jared stood there, waiting until the hordes of dead took him down.

And Jensen breathed for the first time in a long time.

When he lost Mac he had lost any connection to the past, to who he was before the dead could walk. Suddenly this familiar sight was in front of him and he was tethered.

Jensen took a step forward and wrapped his arms around the man before him. He felt arms encircle him and he didn't care about anything else. The world had ended a while ago. The whole goddamned planet could explode right now and he would be fine with everything.

"Jared," Jensen said in a whisper. Naming the man for the first time. Naming the man before him and opening that door of the past and everything that he was hoping to forget.

"And we have our feel good moment," a voice said.

Jensen pulled back a little, but didn't let go. "And Chad how the hell have you been."

Chad grinned, a look that was unpracticed, fake as hell, and didn't change the look in his dead eyes.

"You would survive the end of the world," Chad said, with a lot more honesty and distain.

"Funny I was thinking the same of you," Jensen said, trying not to look at his missing arm.

Chad looked at him, as if he knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Jay found a cure for zombie bite," Chad said evenly.

Jensen swallowed. He knew how this had gone. Chad's arm had been bitten and Jared had quickly cut off the arm before it could get to the rest of the body. Then for two days he had confined Chad while for two days Jared sat there with a gun at the ready. That was the worst feeling, to know that you might have to kill someone you knew.

It was horrible to have to kill someone that you cared about. Jensen would know.

He hadn't had to do it in over a year, but you don't forget that kind of thing.

It had become a fairly common story.

It metaphorically killed Jensen a little.

Jared was his. Jared was sweet and as untainted as possible. He lived in the cesspool of Hollywood and wasn't a tainted jerk. Now in this ever after it wasn't all so. Jensen wanted to keep him the outgoing friendly sometimes a jerk, but still that pure Jared. That pang from before hit him so bad.

He couldn't do this. Two minutes in and he was feeling more than he felt in the last year.

Then he looked in Jared's eyes and saw the pain that he wouldn't admit existed in him. Like always he just wanted to figure out how to make Jensen laugh.

"Have you eaten?" Jensen asked, watching Jared's gaunt frame.

Jared shook his head.

"Not more than a bite here or there in a few days," Chad said. "We were running hard."

Jensen thought for a moment. "You guys were being chased."

Jared shrugged. "Sorry."

Jensen bunched up the too big dirty shirt that Jared wore in the hand that still held him.

"Never be," he said with certainty to both of them. Then lower, just for Jared, he added, "Never apologize for being alive."

Jensen knew what people wanted most these days, the basic needs. Right now for this small group it looked as if their basic needs were demanding a whole lot of food. Fortunately that was the one thing that Jensen could dole out right now.

Jared and Chad looked like the rest of the group. Like they were going to face plant in their plates, but everyone ate like it was their last meal, barely tasting anything, just trying to fill their bellies.

Which was fortunate because the air horns blasted when most of them were on their second helpings.

"They're here," Chad said with no help what so ever.

Jared didn't say anything; he just grabbed his gun with resignation.

Jensen was not going to let Jared out of his sight. Not when it could all just evaporate and be nothing but a dream. Jensen hated those dreams that he woke up with, seeing Jared and waking up to his sullen room, alone. The tears that were on his cheeks were a whole lot more shameful than then cum that used to line his shorts after dreams of Jared, back in the day, back when there was time for comfort.

But that was before. Now was zombiefied.

Jensen motioned for Chad and Jared to follow him. 

Jared stayed next to Jared and Chad stood on the other side, his missing arm hidden behind Jared's shrunken frame. They moved in sync.

Jensen felt a little itch of something far away. Jealousy that he had pushed down for a lot longer than this end of the world. It seems that in building defenses for everyday he lost his other defenses, he had never felt jealous of Jared having anyone else. They had an unspoken agreement, but now that seemed to be null and void.

Jared stayed by his side, didn't say a word, but stayed by his side.

Franny looked at them and nodded, handing Jensen binoculars.

"There are five moving in," Franny said, looking at the horizon to where the shapes were visible.

Jensen looked through the binoculars. He felt Jared elbow Chad. When he looked over they were exchanging a look.

"There were twelve," Chad said, still looking at Jared, as they exchanged wordless conversation.

Jensen pretty much wanted to shoot Chad.

When that line when through his head, Jensen instantly felt Jared tug on his shirt and give him a little smile, like he knew what Jensen was thinking.

"They hide. Sneak," Jared said slowly, his voice hoarse like a ninety-year-old chain smoking whisky drinking grandmother. He was struggling to speak to Jensen, only to Jensen.

His hazel eyes never left Jensen's and Jensen took a moment before he nodded and he turned to Franny.

"There is going to be a second wave," Jensen told him.

"I've got ears boy," Franny said with a smirk. "We'll double the coverage. Twelve is nothing, but if they find out..."

"I'll get the napalm stores ready," Jensen said getting up. "You don't need me for five."

It was what they did, him and Franny; they were never at the lead in any fight, better for leadership that way.

Before he left Franny grabbed him, Jensen had never felt more grounded, Jared holding on loosely on one side, Franny holding his arm on the other. It was a greatly reassuring thing.

"That the right one?" Franny asked, nodding his head towards the other two men.

Jensen nodded.

"Good," Franny replied. "Get on now. That napalm ain't gonna get itself."

"C'mon boys," Jensen said, going down from the wall and crossing the quad.  
Out of nowhere Molly came to him, looking at the two strange men. Without thinking Jensen picked her up without missing a step and crossed to the storage.

Jared was looking at him strangely. Chad opened his mouth to comment and Jensen spoke quickly as to prove he could read Jared too. He hoped he could, god help him two hours into seeing Jared and he was already hoping on things that he had no right to.

"This is Molly," Jensen said. "All the kids go to their person when things go down, we each get one. We used to hide them all, til the nursery got attacked."

You don't mention the dead.

Especially children. Jensen absolutely never did, especially his own.

"Molly, this is Chad and Jared," Jensen said as gently as you could, running towards napalm with a gun in your hand, followed by two tall hardened men.

Molly, despite it all smiled and dimpled, "Hi."

When they got to the store unit, Jensen put her down and she immediately gravitated towards Jared and Jensen jimmied the lock.

They walked into the darkened room and Jensen began to gather supplies as gunshots went off from the direction that they came from.

None of them gave them much notice. It was far too familiar a sound.

"What happens if they get past the wall?" Chad asked, watching the door with a steady watch, as if that is what he was used to, watching Jared's back, one arm or no.

"Air horn, three bells, air horn, that is when everyone goes on high alert," Jensen answered automatically.

Jared nodded and kept an eye on Molly.

Jensen went about grabbing the casings to bring pods to the front lines, anything happened. He watched Jared out of the corner of his eye.

Jared was watching out for Molly. Molly was watching Jensen. Chad was watching the door.

So he just did what he usually did when he was putting something together. He started talking low about what he was doing, why he was doing it, precautions, and cheerful anecdotes for Molly's ears.

He did it for the connection and he's done it for months now. She listens like always and its like he can feel Jared listening too, getting used to his voice again. The nights that they spent on the phone talking each other through disappointment and hilarity, much to the chagrin of their now dead wives who were trying to sleep while they were on the phone together...

...Jensen heard his narrative stop as his motion stopped.

At that moment he just thought for a moment.

He looked up at Jared. Jensen just looked at him, looking at him like it had just been a hiatus and they were just filming and they were those people any more.

"We're widowers," Jensen said, and that was the first time that he admitted that she wasn't here any more. It was ridiculous. Plenty of people had lost someone, the camp was full of people who had hearts that were gaping with the places that people used to be and would probably never heal, but only now, only with Jared could he actually admit it.

Jared held a hand on Molly's head, but he walked forward and grabbed at Jensen, he was clumsy with personal contact.

"I'm not dead," Jared rasped.

Jensen let Jared's hazel eyes wash over him, savoring the feeling, knowing that the remark was a hell of a lot more than a condolence prize.

Then the air horn rang out again, on the other side of the compound.

Jensen swallowed. "The second wave is here, they’re attacking on the east side."

Jared let him go, picked up Molly with one arm and took his gun with the other.

Chad looked up, completely ignoring the fact that a moment had just gone on. “We good?”

Jensen nodded. “We need to get rounds to both sides.”

Chad nodded and grabbed one of the bags, slinging it across his shoulders. “I’ll go back to where I came to that guy Franny.” Chad then looked at Jared. “You good with him?”

“Don’t get dead,” Jared said nodding, a little fear about letting Chad out of his sight plain on his face.

Jensen felt that urge to shoot Chad again. Then Jared turned and looked at him, head cocked, looking for approval, asking if it was okay if they sent the one arm man one way while the two dudes and the child went the other way.

He just looked at Jared for a second and it was like he never wasn’t there, like this last year was just a bad dream, like they were just goofing off in Vancouver again.

Jensen felt like he was loosing touch with reality, or if he didn’t know which way was real any more.

Jared just looked at him seriously and it was just so easy to slip back into it.

Jensen knew that Molly was right there with him, mirroring faces of seriousness. She like the other children had grown up way before their time.

Jensen just could feel the dimples that they weren’t showing on the pair of them. Knowing that they were there and that he would see him again make it all worth it.

“Hold her tight, we’ve got to run,” Jensen said putting the bag on his shoulder. 

Jared nodded and gripped the girl and the gun. Then in Jensen’s ever extremely moody state he had to grin.

“We’ve got work to do,” he said and then ran out the doorway, with Jared in tow.

&&

This was becoming less of a typical day, but once this had been the everyday. They didn’t want to get too sure, but things were looking up.

The fight was over and it was the end of the day they had lost one person and gained seven, with Jared’s convoy.

One hundred and eleven was a good number. The good was getting thin, but they had unbelievable convoys that would come back with enough. That is all things were these days, just enough.

They walked through the crowds.

Franny came up to them, smoking his cigar.

“Your buddy done good.” he acknowledged with a pat to Jared’s shoulder. “Kids a little handsy with the napalm though. Or handy, or whatever the politically correct word was.”

Jared’s face blanched white.

“Don’t worry kid,” Franny assured. “He just blew off his eyebrows. He’s also exhausted. He’s sleeping in the med building. Go do whatever it is you need to do to see him. Then do me a favor. Get some sleep. I’m kind of worried when you’re going on three days.”

Jared nodded and Jensen was looking aghast. He immediately took Molly from Jared, like Jared was going to drop her from exhaustion even though he had just held her while shooting and napalming.

“What the fuck Jared,” Jensen reprimanded. “Three days. You should have said something. You aren’t superman.”

For the first time since Jared came he let out a horselaugh and those dimples came out full force. Jared just looked at him eyes shining.

And Jensen got it immediately. It was just like when Jared got up and worked out after two hours of sleep and pushed himself way past the next dawn, and nearly passed out.

“Not Tom Welling,” Jared said so softly Jensen barely heard.

If Jensen was a little bit hesitant that anything had changed in the course of his life, the moment he set eyes on Jared then he pretty much had to throw that theory out the window the moment Jared looked at him, with those dimples appearing under weary eyes, with too many lines.

Jared came.

And his entire world began to find order again.

&&

Jared checked on Chad and looked at his sleeping form, drool included and those dimples appeared again.

Again Jensen wanted to shoot Chad, once again. This was getting ridiculous. He had survived Jared’s wedding and the birth of his daughter, but now he wanted to shoot Chad over a smile. He hadn’t begrudged Jared another life, but that was before. Now was now.

Then Jared turned and looked at him and that shy smile that wasn’t so broken looked at him like he was gold at the end of the rainbow. He cocked his head again in question. It was odd how easy it was to read just an eyebrow.

“You’ll sleep with me,” Jensen said. “Franny put me in my own rooms.”

And that was story that he wasn’t going to share. Between the nightmares and the occasional guys and girls who liked to come and be more than inappropriate in his sleep it was a pretty easy question as to whether Jensen should sleep alone, especially when Franny made him his right hand man.

Jared nodded and followed Jensen who was carrying a sleepy Molly.

Jensen walked into the small room not far from the command center. It had boxes of ammo, some clothes and nothing that was distinctly Jensen.

Jared looked around the room and smiled a little.

“Yeah,” Jensen muttered, looking around as if seeing it for the first time. “Looks a lot like when I moved in with you.”

Jared looked pointedly at the mattress with a raised eyebrow, his smile still softly there.

When he spoke there was a lot of effort put into pushing the air through enough to make the sound. “Like old times.”

“Without the tequila,” Jensen said.

Jared motioned towards the sleeping girl in Jensen’s arms. “Little young.”

Jensen wasn’t about to cry, as he put Molly down, not a bit. Not at all because Jared was accessing part of him that hadn’t existed for a year. Hell he was accessing a part that he hadn’t ever allowed to come to the surface.

“What happened to you man?” Jensen asked as he put the girl down and turned to face Jared who was already sitting on the bed, propped up against the wall as if he couldn’t do it on his own. He was clumsily taking off his shoes. Jensen sat next to him and did the same.

“Chad,” Jared whispered.

“I always knew Chad would be a bad influence,” Jensen said taking off his shirt.

Jared shook his head with enough force that Jensen looked at him. “Here. Alive. Chad.”

Jensen understood. Because of everything Jared was here, Jared was whole. It was then that he caught thin slivers of scar on Jared’s neck by the light of the moon. He wanted to know what had happened. For the first time in forever he also just wanted this moment because tomorrow was going to happen and he could figure out everything then.

They finished with their clothes and it was just like old times, just a new place and no alcohol.

They lay back, legs hanging over the mattress, bed too small for the two of them, but they weren’t going to complain.

“Talk,” Jared rasped in the dark. “Talk about tomorrow.”

That was it, Jared didn’t want to reminisce, he didn’t want to talk about long ago or even how they got there, Jared just wanted him to talk about now.

Jensen began to talk. He told Jared about Missy, the old lumpy kitchen woman who told them that she would be useless in the battlefield, but she could keep them all battle ready. She did that with her acrid wit and her amazing cooking for the hundred in the camp. He told him about Franny and some of what they went through on a daily basis. He told him about funny things that Molly did.

Jared’s eyes were closed, but he wasn’t sleeping, as always Jensen could tell, he could always tell. Jensen kept talking, he watched the rise and fall of his chest, between the tales of Franny and Molly Jensen put a hand on his heart, just like a million times before. Jared’s breath stuttered and moment and then he let out a very long breath, like he had been holding it for a year.

It was soon after that when he finally succumbed to exhaustion.

Jensen was still amped from just about everything. Right next to him was Jared. Jared who he thought that he would never see again, that Jared.

Jensen kept talking for a little bit.

Finally his eyes closed and he fell asleep to the rhythm of Jared’s heard under his fingers.

&&

The moment Jensen woke up Jared snapped to attention, as did Molly. Jensen removed his hand quickly as if this was some sort of sordid thing. Not that this was that, not that ideas like that existed any more.

“Sleep,” Jensen advised moving to get up, pushing Jared back. “Sleep until you are too hungry to sleep and then have Molly take you to get food. She’ll find me when you’re done. She’ll probably talk your ear off.”

Jared nodded and began to blink back into sleep. Jensen nodded to Molly and pulled out her coloring book and broken crayons.

“Take care of him Molly?” he asked. “When he’s slept, showered, and eaten, find me.”

She nodded and Jensen got up to get to his day. Nothing was ever done when you were surviving. Jensen stretched and then looked down at Jared for a moment of reassurance. Jared was watching him right back.

“Don’t die,” Jared rasped, a little more clearly today, and Jensen smiled, because he sure the hell wasn’t planning on it.

&&

Jensen got up grabbed a coffee mug and went about his day. He thinking about supplies, life on a compound as a leader was mostly just going over supplies, organizing supplies, and planning how to get more supplies. They had a garden in what used to be a park and that was good, but Jensen was always planning for more. He wanted them to be safe.

Franny loved that about him. Franny just wanted the walls to hold and the people to be busy and not cause a ruckus. He hated making sure that there were enough canned goods in the storage.

About an hour into his day someone came and filled his coffee. Coffee was the best thing that they found on the last run. They had found a huge storeroom of beef jerky and coffee and brought it back on the huge trucks. Supplies were always random as they went out to ransack nearby towns for what they needed.

Franny came lumbering in about noon.

“Talked to your boy’s boy this morning,” Franny said.

Jensen looked up from the storeroom. “Chad’s up?”

“Yeah, he’s kicking around,” Franny said, which basically meant that he’d be all right. “How’s your boy?”

Jensen shrugged, not bothering to change the nickname, he knew that Jared was probably going to be called Jensen’s boy for a while. Jensen had been called Pretty-Boy,’ among other not so flattering nicknames, for about four months. Because of Franny, most people called him Ackles now.

“Sleeping,” Jensen said with brevity that felt safe. “Molly’s taking care of him.”

Franny just looked at him for a long moment.

“Well this is going to be fun,” he said with a little bit of a grin.

Jared chose to ignore that. 

He stood up and stretched. “I guess I should go see Chad.”

&&

Jensen walked in the medical area, the people knew him well, but they looked at him a little different. They didn’t know quite what to do with Jensen who was wearing a very a live smirk as he approached Chad.

Jensen didn’t know it but he looked alive for the first time since they had known him.

“So Chad, Jared tells me you tried to strangle him,” Jensen said seeing Chad, hoping that he hadn’t read this wrong. That no matter what Chad is the same.

“Well he was cutting off my arm at the time,” Chad replied glaring at him through slitted eyes.

“He was saving your life.” Jensen pointed out. 

“Well you get your am cut off and see how logical you are.” Chad said nonchalantly.

Jensen breathed. He was really out of practice when it came to banter.

“Its getting better,” Chad told him finally after the silence stretched on too long. “His voice. He couldn’t speak for months. I really wasn’t in a state to talk to for a while either, and I was the only one around. Now I dunno, he might hate his voice, he might just not want to talk any more, he is kind of mute these days.”

Neither mentioned that everybody was dealing in their own way.

“I’ve noticed him pretty economical with his words,” Jensen agreed.

Chad held up his hand. “Look at Mr. Big Shot, still using words that don’t mean shit any more.”

“Always eloquent there Chad,” Jensen muttered.

Then there was another moment of silence.

“How long ago was it?” Jensen said, trying not to look at Chad’s arm, and unable to look anywhere else.

Chad rolled his eyes and took off that side of his shirt to show Jensen, completely unashamed at the stump found there, “I have no idea. Time doesn’t exist for me anymore.”

“I didn’t think that it existed for you before. I’ve never met anyone with such a talent for never being on time ever,” Jensen said, just staring at the angry red stump. 

It hadn’t been amputated with any kind of delicacy. It was jagged and oddly smooth. It hadn’t been done in anyway surgically, it hadn’t healed nicely. All Jensen could think was that it was that it hurt, it looked like it had hurt for a long time.

Chad looked down at it, like it was no big thing. His voice was completely even and uninterested. “Gardening shears and an clothes iron. That is how Jared kept me alive.”

When Chad looked up he found Jensen looking at him steadily.

“We’ve all done more than we thought we’d ever have to do,” Jensen told him.

And nobody asked for stories or meaning anymore.

Chad nodded and just like that their moment of caring and sharing was over. “Gimme coffee. I feel like I just joined civilization again, coffee and warm food. Jay and I have been on the run for so long, and we cook like crap. It will be nice to be back in a metropolitan area.”

Jensen just looked at him with an odd look to his face. “We’re in a town of just over a hundred.”

“What?” Chad said moving to the edge of the bed to get up. “It isn’t LA, but  
this place has like twice the people as Wilmington. Can I get that coffee that you are guzzling?”

“No,” Jensen said taking a long swallow of coffee. “You’re on meds.”

“I had my arm amputated on nothing but adrenaline,” Chad said crossing his good arm in front of his chest. “I lived off of cheap booze and codeine for months. “I’m pretty sure I can handle aspirin and coffee.”

Jensen smiled and everyone in the room stopped and stared. Smiles were rare and pretty much only reserved for Molly. He held out the cup to Chad.

“Never say I never gave you anything,” Jensen mocked.

Chad grabbed at the coffee. “Shut it. They’re going to do some backwoods voodoo on me to make sure that my arm isn’t going to fall off. “

He looked down and made a face. “Oops too late.”

Jensen raised an eyebrow.

Chad looked up trying not to be serious, and at the same time saying things that people hadn’t said to Jensen’s face ever, effectively ripping him apart. “We didn’t think you’d be here. I could tell he really didn’t think that you would be here. We took the long way, but he didn’t think that you would be here.”

Jensen looked Chad in the eyes but didn’t speak.

“He almost didn’t want you here.”

Jensen nodded and swallowed hard. “I get it.”

He mostly didn’t want Jared to have found him here. Jensen was straining to remember who he was.

As much as Jensen didn’t want Jared here, to see what he had become, he also wanted it more than anything else in the world.

“But we’re all here,” Chad said making a face. “Don’t be idiots, the world ended. We kind of have the answer to the epic question, ‘What is the worst that could happen?’ It’s happened.”

Jensen just blinked.

“It’s mutual,” Chad said as if all of this was more than obvious. “Just in case you still are looking for a reason to say no.”

Jensen looked at him. Chad who had the worst track record with life on the planet back when there were enough people on the face of the earth to make that statement hold weight, and he cringed. 

Of the very limited information that Chad had, this piece of information Jensen begrudged him.

Chad looked at him, one armed and momentarily wise.

And Jensen ran out.

&&

Jensen was looking at the ammo stores when Franny found him. 

“Your boy is up and in the mess tent,” Franny told them.

Jensen nodded. 

“He was telling me that there is a storehouse ‘bout fifty miles south,” Franny told him. “We need recon on it ASAP. He’s going to be the guide. We have to get out there before those wackos in Waco find out about it.”

“I’m going,” Jensen said immediately, he was not going to let Jared be somewhere that he didn’t know. It may not be what he wanted, but he sure the hell wasn’t going to give it up just for the sake of it.

Franny raised an eyebrow, “Figured. Jeep four is loaded. I can’t spare anyone but you right now.”

Franny turned and left. 

Jensen waited a minute and gathered a whole lot of courage that he didn’t remember loosing.

&&

 

"Remember when we could say 'I have a buddy in town I need a coupe of days off?" Jensen said hefting a bag of ammo into the jeep.

Jared snorted and lifted a box of food next to the ammo. When he looked up Jensen was looking at him.

Jensen realized what he was doing. He rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged.

“This just feels familiar, man,” Jensen said finally. “This is nothing we’ve done before, not for real, but this seems more real than anything has.”

Jared smiled and swallowed as he began to form words.

“This is what we’ve always done,” Jared said with a rasp, his voice clearer than yesterday.

Jensen just nodded and got into the jeep, Jared got in on the passenger side.

“You know people asked me what I was thinking when I wanted to become an actor,” Jensen said as he started the car. “I mean the were like do you know what you are getting into.”

The car started and Jared leaned back, “Fuck em.”

“Look at me now. I know how deal with the end of the world because of acting,” Jensen said heading the direction Jared indicated.

For a little while they drove in silence. Jensen driving and Jared in the passenger seat. The only thing missing was the cameras and Eric yelling at them.

Finally Jared spoke. “Nobody is left, back home. Everybody I had is gone.”

Jared’s fear, magnified. One family member dead would have been hard on them, all of them was something that Jensen was amazed Jared had kept going through.

Jensen swallowed. “They turned, my family, my wife, my kids. I came home. It was them or me. It wasn’t me.”

Jensen’s voice was empty. He had never even come close to admitting that. He had never told anyone. Nobody asked. Once again many people had those stories, many people had told him those stories, but it was only Jared that he could tell his own to.

Jensen stared straight ahead, but he felt Jared’s hand big and warm on his shoulder.

“I’m glad that you survived,” Jared said slowly after a time.

Jensen looked over at him. “Some days I don’t. Some days I wish I didn’t.”

“And today?” Jared asked.

Jensen swallowed, because this was so raw, just the feeling between them. “I am glad to be here.”

“Not as much as me,” Jared informed him.

Jared didn’t look away, and Jensen didn’t want him to. In this world of madness this was a little bit of okay.

“I’m not sure who you want me to be,” Jensen said softly. 

Jared’s hand didn’t move. “Jensen. Just be Jensen.”

Jensen stopped and pulled over. “Jared, I don’t know if I ever was with you. I don’t know if I ever can be.”

Jared’s smile was there again, that look from so long ago. This was the Jared that Jensen knew, open and easy to the point where Jensen just wanted to shake some wariness into him so he wouldn’t be so open to the world.

“Liar,” Jared called him out.

“What if there was one thing that I never said,” Jensen said looking at him.

Jared just looked at him, fingers lightly strumming over his shoulder.

“I hope so,” Jared said quietly.

Jensen looked back and started the car.

And spent the next half an hour trying to figure out what he was wanting to say.

&&

The noonday sun was high in the sky when Jared mentioned that they were getting close.

They pulled up in front a big barn.

Jensen got out of the Jeep and whistled as he peered inside. “Dude there are bags of cornmeal and flour and, shit man this will…”

Jared smiled a little. “We’ll eat like its 2009.”

The combination of Jared’s voice and the joke startled him. He just stared. Jared’s face, Jared being here suddenly hit him with the biggest unbelievably. He couldn’t believe that the one person that he wanted to see was actually here. He had gotten over shame a long time ago.

They were standing before a huge barn full of grains and supplies. The wind was blowing and it was beautiful.

Jensen swallowed.

And he chickened out because he hadn’t ever planned how to tell Jared everything that he had ever felt about him, especially after he had been blindsided by Jared’s return after the zombie apocalypse and the resulting death of just about everyone he had ever known.

Every reason he had for not saying the words was going and he couldn’t figure out what he wanted to say.

So he just shrugged.

“Let’s load up the truck and then we can get back and figure out a way to feed the masses,” Jensen said going back to the jeep.

He looked up and tried to shake off the indecisiveness that had entered his head the second that the certainty of survival had been tampered with the advent of Jared. 

He didn’t know what Jared had meant back then, he was totally not sure what Jared meant right now.

When he looked up he saw a building about a mile away. It was a brick building and surrounded by lots of fences and barbed wire.

“Fuck,” Jensen swore grabbing for the binoculars.

“Wha?” Jared said putting the feedbags down.

“That is a prison,” Jensen said hurriedly. “Fuck we must be near the Bartlett Prison. Get your gun and get in the car we are heading out.”

“T’lk to me,” Jared asked as he reached out for his gun.

“You didn’t talk to many people about what was going on did you?” Jensen stated.

Jared gave him a disparaging look.

“The jails were like feeding grounds,” Jensen said getting into the jeep. “Lots of people in cages. Lots of body parts, lots of people who went under the change. We need to get out now. We can come back with plenty of people but we need to get the fuck out right now.”

“I wouldn’t mind that over much,” Jared said getting into the truck. 

“Fuck,” Jensen groaned. “I saw a huge first aid kit and a toolbox. Franny will kill me if I leave that shit behind. His first rule of ‘Post-Zombie World Order’ is that you always take medical supplies and tools.”

Jared raised an eyebrow.

Jensen sighed and grab another gun. “Food can be anything. Rubbing alcohol and bandages, we’ve found that the lack of medical supplies kill us. There is no way in hell that I’m leaving that shit behind.”

Jared was staring again.

Jensen swallowed. He forgot what it was like to have someone there who cold read him, who knew him.

Mentally he wanted to literally run away from this intimacy that he had spent years metaphorically running from, that he had tried to shut down since he had met Jared. Emotionally he was so goddamned relieved not to be along that he ignored his flight or fight instinct.

“Mac,” he said, forcing the name through strangled vocal chords. “It was an infection from a fall.”

Jared gave him that smile again.

“Yeah well we’ll have a moment much later,” Jensen told him moving towards the barn. “Cause honestly, we have a moment and that is when bad guys come and kill one of us.”

“Horror movies save lives,” Jared croaked.

“Got my back?” Jensen said grabbing a duffle bag.

Jared rolled his eyes. Because there really wasn’t a need for an answer to that one.

Jensen ran at full sprint into the barn, went to grab the med kit and the toolbox. He threw them all into the bag.

“Jensen,” came a screeching voice from the doorway, it was so incredibly raw. It hurt Jensen just to think about how it effected Jared’s vocal chords.

“Fuck,” Jensen swore, knowing full well what was coming.

Jared was at the door of the barn, looking out at the field.

“We shoulda had that moment,” Jared croaked.

Jensen looked out. There were four guys coming towards them. It wasn’t insurmountable, but it was definitely a pain in the ass.

The figures came towards them. Jensen just sighed, the world wasn’t going to end for them right this moment, but really who knew that for certain.

Jensen let it all go. Defenses ten years in the making he threw out the window. He reached up and cupped Jared’s head and pulled him down. For a tiny second he touched his lips to Jared, completely chaste. Jared grabbed Jensen by the shoulder and pulled him a little closer and opened his mouth a little. Lips padded against each other, just a touch a feel.

And way to little too much time to think about it all.

When Jensen pulled away to look back at their oncoming attackers there was a huge grin on Jared’s face.

“Fuck this macho bullshit,” Jensen said. “We’re going to run to the truck and then mow over any of those bastards that get in our way.”

“Yippie-kai-yai-yay,” Jared rasped.

“Count of three,” Jensen said.

He counted down and sprinted the hundred feet to the jeep. They got in the car and started it. Jared took aim and hit the first thing coming at them.

Jensen had both hands on the wheel and peeled out, spewing rocks and dust everywhere. He ran over one of the other guys with a whole lot of enthusiasm.

“That is what you get for being slow and ugly,” Jensen yelled.

Jared snorted and shot his gun again.

“Good thing we’re pretty,” Jared said barely audible over the noise of their escape.

Jensen let out a laugh.

And they drove back to Temple like their asses were on fire.

**

They drove back, they hadn’t talked any more. They were riding high on adrenaline and rubbed raw from the pieces of themselves they had shown.

They drove into the compound and sounded the guards, just in case. Life these days were always on the contingency of just in case.

Chad was one of the first ones there, with Molly by his side. His face wore the worry, and the resignation of how life was. When he saw the two of them the blasé mask reappeared.

“Took you guys long enough,” Chad said, putting Molly down. She ran to Jensen and hugged his legs tight.

“Learn to amuse yourself,” Jared rasped.

Chad nearly swallowed his tongue at the joke. Apparently joking hadn’t been part of the repartee between the two of them lately. Then Chad burst out in a huge smile, he looked at Jensen and the look was so openly grateful that Jensen wasn’t sure how to deal with any of this, of this feeling.

Jensen turned to Jared and squeezed his elbow. “Go take care of Chad and his neediness. I’ve gotta find Franny, tell him about the barn, and organize a party.”

The wistful yet impressed look on Jared’s face warmed Jensen down to his toes.

“I’ll meet up with you later tonight,” Jensen promised, not thinking about the burgeoning kiss that they had shared.

Jared’s smirk showed that he was thinking about the kiss. He gave Jensen a salute and turned to follow Chad to the dining area.

Jensen picked up Molly and went to find Franny.

&&

Hours later Jensen and Franny had pulled together the planning for the recon that would begin tomorrow at sunrise. Ammo, trucks, and people were prepared.

Molly had wondered out as the sun set. Jensen was wondering if he lost her to the insurmountable pull of Jared.  
Jensen focused on the task at hand, he focused on what he needed to do to survive. Emotions had to come second.

When it was done Franny looked at him expectantly.

“So what you’re gonna do?” Franny asked, and Jensen knew that the planning part of it was over.

Jensen looked up very much not surprised. “Don’t know.”

“How long have you had feelings?” Franny said bluntly and with more perception than Jensen would have given him credit for up until that point.

Jensen busied himself with papers that didn’t need organizing.

“Jensen,” Franny intoned.

Jensen looked up. “What do you want me to say? I have no idea, eventually it just was there, but there were a million reasons not to. There were our jobs, our careers, first, then my girlfriend, and then his, then came weddings and kids. It wasn’t important.”

“Most of us don’t have our unacknowledged loves of our lives come into the compound,” Franny said flipping through lists of inventory that he hadn’t ever cared about. “Maybe what was once important is different now.”

Jensen looked up incredulously. “Are you seriously telling me to have a big gay affair?”

Franny looked uncomfortable, “I’m not telling you anything I’m just saying that you don’t need to make the same decisions you once had to. In the last day you’ve been more interesting than all the little moments over the last year.”

&&

Jensen didn’t want to really deal with anyone else. He skulked in the corners to get to his place.

When he got to his door there was a white envelope on the door. It was late and he was sure that Jared was on the other side, but apparently Jared wanted this to be the first thing that he saw.

Jensen picked up the envelope and went to the bathroom where there was a light. He opened the letter.

_Jensen,_

_I hate this. I hate the fact that my voice sounds like a gaggle of geese. I hate that I can’t talk like I used to. I’m good with words, but I’m not good when I have to write them._

_But I have some things that I need to put out there and this is the way that I can get everything out. My voice just doesn’t work enough to let me carry on._

Jensen felt his throat close up because he hadn’t noticed that yet. He was so in awe of having Jared’s presence that he hadn’t noticed that the inane chatter wasn’t occurring.

It didn’t seem to hurt as much as it should. There was just so much missing in his life, he would take anything to fill that hole. He would take a broken Jared rather than no Jared at all. Jensen knew he was just as broken, that this world was just as broken.

_We both knew that long ago there was something between the two of us, that there was something more than should be there a long time ago. People had the thoughts, but nobody ever said anything to my face, with one exception. When that one exception I asked her to marry me to prove that what I felt for you was a figment of her imagination._

_You saw how that worked out. You were there, you moved in after she left me. You never asked why. We never talked about it._

_She left because she knew me before you. She knew pre-Jared and post Jared in a way that no body else ever would. Not even you. She knew the change, she knew how I was around you._

_So she left rather than be second best._

_Wanna guess who is first best?_

_The fact is that you are here. You are here and nothing that we’ve ever been afraid of, nothing that we’ve held between the two of us, is still there._

_Except for the thing we were still trying to pretend doesn’t exist._

_I don’t want to anymore. The end of the world happened and we’re still here. I don’t want to pretend anymore, I don’t want to. I just can’t. I can’t play pretend to something I don’t know why I’m still pretending._

_In this all I didn’t want you to be here. Everything could be imaginary in this world as long as you weren’t here. I could still pretend that I could wake up tomorrow and call my family and they would be there, that it wasn’t going to be much longer until you called me to brag about the game._

_Seeing you among the ruins of the world (yeah whatever, my mother was an English teacher, that is all you get of poetic love letters) makes this real. Everything is real and has to be faced. I can’t run anymore Jensen._

_I won’t chase you, but I’m not going to run. Not anymore._

_I’m here._

_At the end of the world I’m here._

_Jared_

Jensen let out something that was in between a sigh and a sob, back in the day he had been the one too scared to reach out, he had always been the one too scared. He had put together the perfect illusion of life and he could not let go of that notion.

But here it was, all those notions had disappeared in that time before the internet and cell phones stopped working.

Jensen got up, wound up with too much emotion.

He opened the door and undressed to his boxers. Molly was sleeping. Jared was awake, but he knew Jared would never move until it was okay.

Jensen crawled into bed.

At the end of the world, there was only one thing to say.

“I’m here.”


	2. When the World Ends: Life Keeps Going

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were meant to be. That is why they were together.

When the world ended, when civilization crumbled, humanity banded together to survive. It was epic and when people started writing the books again it would probably be lauded.

But the climax isn't really where the survival happened. Survival happened because people went on and refused to die.

That is where history resumed.

**

Hannah Browne was tired as she drove back into Temple.

She’d been gone for two weeks. She was returning with two truckloads of goods. It was a job well done, but she was tired and potentially ready to do grievous bodily harm to Andrews, who had been assigned to lead the expedition. She was just looking forward to being back where she could eat and sleep and not be under his command.

Once upon a time she had been an English teacher in Corpus Christi, but that was before. Now she was second in command of away missions for the civilization at Temple.

With tired hands that were clumsy with exhaustion she took her gun and prepared to have a moment where she wasn't on high alert.

Franny stopped her on her way out to the door, reaching out a hand and clasping her arm. She tried to shake him off.

“I've gotta get to the mess hall before my stomach eats itself,” Hannah said. “I'm tired, can I debrief tomorrow?”

Franny nodded. “Of course.”

Hannah shrugged off his arm. “Well then I'm starving. I’m going.”

She started to walk off. She got along fairly well with Franny, if she wanted to be tired and cranky with him she knew that he wouldn't hold it against her. He understood.

She walked off when she heard Franny speak up in his non-rushed manner.

“Someone came for Jensen,” he said.

That wasn't a phrase that people used much. It wasn't a phrase anyone had used ever, to be true. Nobody ever came for anyone, not here.

There was a phrase, ‘Nobody is coming for you. Get up out of the dirt and stand on your own two feet.’

Franny used it, people just attributed it to him, and he might have started it, who knew.

Hannah stopped and took a breath before turning around. This wasn’t time to be testy.

Franny looked at her and raised an eyebrow. The old coot always knew more than everyone. He didn't gossip, he just knew.

She shrugged and played the game. “Good. I'm happy that he's found some people.”

Franny pushed himself off the door frame and ambled up to her. He put his hands on her upper arms.

“No Hannah,” he told her, his old eyes burning into hers. “Someone came for Jensen.”

“Fucking Christ Franny so what?” she muttered. “Please let me eat. Please let me sleep. Then I will listen to all of this.”

“This isn't going to be a problem, Browne,” Franny said, turning and walking away.

He said it like a command, like he expected a reaction from her. She slept with Jensen when time allowed. What did Franny expect from her if Jensen got a few friends? His wife was dead, his kids were dead. She had no idea why Franny would go off on her like this. It seemed like over kill and Franny was not about overkill.

Hannah watched him leave. She was tired, hungry, pissed off, and now confused.

&&

 

She walked into the mess tent and Missy handed her a plate. Hannah did her best not to face plant in it.

Missy was watching her.

“Tell me,” Hannah said, yawning. “Franny already laid down the law. What happened to Jensen?”

Missy just smiled. “You know that I don't gossip."

Hannah smiled, knowing far better than that.

Missy continued, "But a crew came in. It was the person Jensen had been waiting for.”

Hannah stopped her fork half way to her mouth.

There were lots of things that Jensen kept behind very high walls. Hannah had known him from the day that he had stepped into Temple. It had taken months before he had let her touch him. Their relationship was more like an arrangement than anything that would require this much said about it.

Hannah knew that there had been someone else, there was something that she could never touch.

She remembered now. There had been a passing comment. He mentioned the person once. He mentioned someone in the beginning. There had been someone still alive who might show up. Most people had the impression, spurned on by his sister Mac, when she was still alive, that this person was a romantic someone, back when people still believed in that.

Hannah had the thought that it had been his wife, but it was clear that his wife and children were gone. Long ago she resigned herself to the fact that she would never stack up to that memory. She thought she was fighting a memory.

She was safe in the fact that nobody showed up any more. She could have Jensen because there was nobody else.

Jensen, for all his resigned attitude towards this lot in life, still looked at the horizon, still looked through the haggard faces of the new comers. She was fine with him looking because she was so sure that nobody came back.

That is when she saw Jensen. Next to him was a tall man with Molly on his shoulders. One of the man's hands was holding Molly's legs for reassurance, the other was gesturing. Every part of Jensen's attention was fixated on whatever the man was slowly saying.

It was the look on Jensen's face that hit her between the eyes.

She knew what she was to him, she knew that she was just someone who was there, but it hurt like none other.

Jensen's look was still guarded, but he held a look that she had never seen on his face. She hadn't seen the look after sex, she hadn't seen the look in his sleep, she hadn't seen the look when he was with Molly.

He was content. In the midst of the end of the world, surrounded by the remaining zombies, Jensen was okay.

She hated him a little more, not only had she not created that look, but she hadn't felt that way since the world ended. The world ended and he was content.

“Fuck you Jensen Ackles,” she muttered quietly.

“I say much the same thing,” a voice behind her said.

She turned around quickly. There stood a blonde man with one arm.

“It’s always been like that you know,” the man continued, not even looking at her. “They worked so many hours and they thought it was fun. They dated and broke up and shared it with each other. They had lives, but their core was together. Everyone always knew it, they never acted on it. They were so scared of what was between them, but now, it looks like they grew some balls. It took civilization as we knew it ending, and most people on earth dying, but for some reason they get each other.”

He stopped talking and after a minute of watching Jensen she looked at him. The blonde guy was looking at her.

“I hate them because they make me remember before,” the guy sighed. “They make me believe that anything is possible and after everything I don’t want to believe that things can be okay. They make me remember that there is nobody who I would want to come for me.”

Hannah looked at them and Jensen laughed.

That was new and rare and made her ache longingly with jealousy.

She was tired and raw and cranky, but she just watched them and she wanted to cry.

At that moment she realized that no matter what humankind would try to put itself back together again.

She looked at destiny and realized that what was meant to be would be no matter what.

Zombies, marauders to the north, lack of food.

What was meant to be was meant to be.


	3. When the World Ends; Return to Lender

If anyone had pitched Jared the movie, after the zombie apocalypse, the one where the romantic leads were both male and the zombies were dying out, and his throat and voice were shot to hell, he would have asked what else they had. Jared had been no stranger to crappy movies, but this one was a little lame.

There was only survival in the aftermath.

It wasn’t that bad though.

There were green eyes when he woke in the morning, and Jensen's voice was always there, being loud like Jared just couldn't any more.

There were so many empty places now, and Jensen began to fill them with voice, with presence, with life. Jared was beginning to live again, when he didn't even realize that he had given up.

It was like life was real again.

He knew who Hannah Browne was, little, long pony tail. She had come back into camp and Jensen had told the truth. She didn’t talk to Jared.

This was strangely familiar territory when she finally approached him.

*

_“You stole my boyfriend,” she said coming and plopping down on his bed, red hair flowing._

_She was in pajamas, sleeping down stairs in Jensen’s bed, as the girlfriend custom went._

_Jared grinned at her. “Yep, you can have him back for the summers.”_

_She rolled her eyes. “Ever so generous.”_

_*_

So it wasn’t a surprise when the bold tiny girl with cascading hair, brown this time instead of red came up to him. He looked at her, Jensen definitely had a type.

“I stole your boyfriend,” she told him.

Jared cocked his head.

*

_They had gotten drunk, Jensen was off jamming with the boys, leaving his musically challenged partners alone. Jared was days before starting to date the woman he’d marry, the one who would have his children, the one that he’d forget to call first when the world ended, the one who wasn’t going to be forever._

_She was sprawled over him, Jared’s drunk mind understood keeping your enemies close at that moment. They wanted the same thing and there wasn’t space or attention for the two of them._

_To the end, to the world, Jared believed so much that she would always get him, Jensen would return to her arms._

_“I’ll make him happy,” she said._

_He had looked down, confused, because her voice was a promise to look after his property, it was a permission request._

_Her eyes were hazy._

_“He’s my favorite library book,” she slurred._

_And as she began to snore he realized that she thought she was the one living on borrowed time. She would only be allowed what he granted. It was a revelation that spurred him into action, into dating, as far away from Jensen as he could get._

_*_

He hadn’t been able to do it then.

He looked at the brown haired girl.

“I wasn’t gong to say anything, just ignore you,” she continued. “But we live in a tiny group of people and everyone loves you so it makes it hard. Hell from some of the stories that Chad is telling me I want to marry you.

He swallowed hard, it was the only way that he could get words. Then he found that he didn’t have them.

She just smiled and walked away.

**

Jensen came into their room later.

“Why do your girlfriends or future wives always come to me?” Jared said. “Ask my permission to have touched you.”

Jensen took off his jacket and gave Jared a rare smile. “I’m emotionally stunted. You’re the friendly one.”

Jared stood up and faced him, cocked his head. “Does it say ‘Property of Jared Padalecki’ somewhere?”

Jensen laughed. “Well you’ve done some really through checking, but if you have questions you are more than allowed to check until your hearts content”.

Jared looked, his eyes hungry. He wanted, he always wanted Jensen. It was something that he had tried to squelch for so long when he let go of the beast, it was unable to be contained. It was with Jensen that he was full and safe and the pains of the end of the world hurt less. It was only with Jensen that he could allow himself to feel everyone who was gone, everything he had gone through, to look at the blood on his hands.

It wouldn’t have been healthy before, this need, this dependency, but this was after the end of the world and nobody had time for psychology any more, survival was more important. Together they tried to merge to create a whole person out of the rubble of everything that had happened.

In their tiny room Jared reached out a hand. He was able to be emotionally vulnerable in a way that the world no longer allowed, to be romantic in the way that he used to, to say what he felt.

Jared put one of his huge hands over Jensen’s heart, like he had a million times before, in much lighter situations.

They both knew where the mark was. It was a claim, it was the boomerang’s home, it was where they would always return.


End file.
